Wasn’t that a party, part 2

Psst, you guys.  There was something a bit weird going on at Finn’s birthday party and I’m not sure what it all means.  I’ve passed on everything I know to the detective that I’ve put in charge of this case.

There’s a cat that lives at Finn’s house called Mango.  Mango and Finn don’t get along too well.  Everybody knows this.  Mango bought Finn a birthday present – that jumping, obstacle course thingy (another reason I didn’t want to play with it – never trust a present from someone who doesn’t like you).  This is the card that was attached to the present.

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Sounds a bit threatening, right?

Here’s where it gets strange.  I never saw Mango at all yesterday.  Not even a glance.  She didn’t show up for the birthday party – after getting Finn a present she doesn’t even show up for cake???  Weird, plain and simple.

Until I saw this.

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I almost missed it but look what was on the menu under “Fruit Plate”.

Mango!!!!

Ack!!!  Poor kitty.  OMG I can’t believe it!  Just when you thought you knew someone. Ack!!!  How could this have happened!  I’m ruined forever!  Somebody do something! Why are you laughing, this isn’t funny.  Ack!!!

What??

You mean mango’s a fruit and you can eat it?  And Mango the cat never attends birthday parties and is hiding upstairs?  What??

These people are weird. Who in their right mind names their cat after a fruit.  That is as ridiculous as calling someone Apple or Huckleberry.  Someone should look over her contract to see what recourse she has.  Good grief, people.

Also?  Mango will never be on the menu at any of my parties.  Just saying.

Wasn’t that a party, part 1

Happy Birthday buddy!

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Well Finn turned two and we partied like it was nobody’s business.  And hah!  Now I know why he got to have a party and I didn’t.

You guys, he has a professional event planner!  I didn’t catch her name, but I’m going to call her Amelia.  She thought of everything  (Also, I heard she’s friends with Taylor Swift because she’s going to be hooking up with her in June – I wonder if Taylor Swift and Pink are friends).  I’m definitely going to negotiate for an event planner when my contract is up. Finn’s agent must be really good to think of something like that.

We started out at the park where the fun began.

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After dirt trailing for hours we were ready for the next item on the itinerary.

This event planner went all out.

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Everything was decorated so nicely and there were hats!

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It was kinda choking me though.  But still!  Hats!

And then the best part – CAKE!

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We can smell it.  Let’s go.  Hurry up.

Then we went outside to play with Finn’s new toy.  It was some kind of jumping, obstacle course thingy.  I don’t do jumping obstacle course thingy on demand so I mostly sniffed around watched Finn.

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And then at the end?  You guessed it.  Swag bags!

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Inside was a custom made (by a world famous designer) squeaky toy.

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Love, love, love it.

Other than me not having a party to celebrate my second birthday, and Pink not showing up to sing a song, today was a pretty good day.

But be on notice.  My third birthday?  It’s going to rock.

Bendy pose

It’s Friday and to celebrate the end of the work week I am going to take some time out for myself and do some advanced yoga.

I’ve been training these people I live with to do yoga, but like so many other things they haven’t really advanced past the basics.  It gets a bit boring for me to continually do downward dog, upward dog, lotus, blah, blah, blah.  We haven’t even touched on downward dog split because I’m afraid they’ll fall on their heads.

Sometimes, when they are fumbling around trying to get the right pose, I invent my own yoga moves.  Of course they are way more advanced than what these people could do, but I need to move on and not always be held back.

Here’s my favourite.

Taken with Vignette for Android

It’s called “bendy pose by Taz”.

Something that these people I live with aren’t.  Bendy, that is.

Happy Friday.

Also?  If you would like to use “bendy pose by Taz” in your own yoga class, feel free to contact me and I’ll have my new contract enforcing lawyer draw up the paperwork.

An exclusive invitation

Look what I got in the mail you guys.  Woot Woot!

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I’m so excited!  I love getting exclusive invitations in the mail.

Oh, what?

Sorry, for those of you who aren’t bilingual, like me, (although to be accurate I am manylingual) here is the translation:

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My buddy Finn is turning two.

Hurray, there’s going to be a par-tay!  Love, love, love birthday parties.

Here’s a picture of Finn and me at his first birthday party:

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We were eating cake, cause that’s what you do on your birthday.  And now he’s turning two!  Wow, they grow up so … Hey, wait a minute.

I never had a birthday party when I turned two.

There were no invitations, no balloons, no cake, no presents.

No presents!?  No.  There. were. no. presents.

How did these people forget such a momentous occasion?  I am going to have to check with my agent.

Pretty sure these people owe me something, like an amazing surprise party with Pink as special guest, or a dinner cruise, or a weekend in the Swiss alps.  Just saying.