Happy 146th

This is one of my most favourite days.  Friday before a long weekend! Apparently it’s Canada’s 146th birthday.  Some days I feel really old and I’m 2 and a half.  I really can’t imagine what it would feel like to be 146.  Probably you can do whatever you want, like nap all day.  And if anyone ever bothered you, you could say “leave me alone I’m 146”.  Or “when you’re 146 you can eat ice cream for breakfast too, now eat your porridge”.  Or “of course I know everything I’m 146, don’t be ridiculous”.

I can’t wait to be 146.  I wonder if these people I live with will be trained by then?

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One can only dream.

Happy Canada Day!  I sure hope there’s cake.

If ever there was a case to be made

Ugh.  Another day of negotiations.  I just have to keep reminding myself that if I didn’t negotiate I could still be at the mercy of the ridiculous whims of these people I live with.

Case in point?  This.  From when I was young and didn’t know my rights.

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It makes me look like I have round feet.  I don’t have round feet.  I look ridiculous.

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And it makes my butt look big.  I don’t have a big butt.  And my head is way, way out of proportion.  Ack!

See?  Because I was so young I didn’t know better, but I now have a No making me look ridiculous clause.  Hah!

Also?  I can’t wait for the weekend.  Apparently that’s when summer is going to show up.

Negotiations, day 1

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I’m in between meetings so I thought I’d bring you guys up to date.  It’s so long and boring that I’m almost falling asleep and we haven’t even got to the cotton candy part of the negotiations yet.  Apparently the sides are so far apart, whatever that means.  I don’t know why they just don’t move the sides closer if it’s such a problem.  I always have to state the obvious.

Best part about today was the lunch that was brought in.  Delicious!  A regular smorgasbord of wonderfulness.  Psst.  Do I have broccoli stuck in my teeth?

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No?  Phew.  I still have to be professional and all and besides I’m out of floss.  Also?  It’s hard to look ferocious with broccoli in your teeth.

Gotta go, my contract lawyer just motioned me back into the room.  Now where did I leave my list of things…

Let the games begin

Sorry I was MIA yesterday but I was in meetings.  All day.  With lawyers and agents and such.  It made me exhausted.  

And right now I’m quite perplexed.

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We are about to start negotiations and I can’t find my list of things that I want to include in my next contract.  It’s an important list and I need it.  I don’t know where it went.

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I hope these people that I live with didn’t throw it away, cause now I’m going to have to start all over again.

Let’s see.  There was a house, not making me upset, um.  Oh right, better security.  I think there was something about good food.  Letting me have a squirrel as a friend.  This is hard. I’m not sure that there was anything about cotton candy, but I’m pretty sure there should be, so cotton candy!

I know!  Blue cotton candy!  With bacon flavour!  I love, love, love bacon!  If there’s one thing that will be a deal breaker?  Not having blue, bacon flavoured, cotton candy.  Yum, yum, yum.

Oh yes, this is going to be great.  Let the games begin.

Take your dog to work day

Apparently it’s National Take Your Dog to Work Day.

Right.  Like I don’t already have enough work to do here without going somewhere else and doing someone else’s work.

Why don’t they have a National Give Your Dog a Day Off Day.  That would be something I could support.  Look how happy it would make me.

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At least it’s the weekend.  Happy Friday.